My summer reading has been mostly comprised of biographies; biographies of sea-faring folk. Some more in depth posts about these people are coming, but there's an image from one I'd like to use today.
The ocean, and any large body of water for that matter, can blow up a storm out of nowhere. There's no questioning why it came up all of a sudden. There's no time to wonder where it came from. But once it arrives, it arrives. And with it a call to step up and just do what needs to be done.
I imagine most of our open water storm survival skills are nil, but in principle, we're all given opportunities (whether we'd like them or not) to step up and just do what needs to be done. It seems that the recipe for success in these unannounced storms is made up of cool-headedness, an ability to assess the essentials of the situation and address them in a hierarchical order of importance, ready to re-assess and adapt the plan of action as needed.
Close the hatch. Discover the wind direction. Lower the sail. Oh wait, a wave just crashed over the bow, adjust the other sail, etc.
In any crisis situation, the first, more emtional reaction seems to be: Why? Why me? Why now? What's happening and what did I do to bring this on? That feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming and we just want to gauge what's going on.
But just like the ship's captain, we're not entitled to having that answered; in most cases, it's not even our place to ask. What matters most - as a matter of life and death, literally and figuratively - is to have the ability to step back, assess the situation and make a plan of action with those few, most essential tasks at hand.
We seem moderately equipped to captain in someone else's storm. But when it comes to our own...we find ourselves getting ready to jump ship without even thinking about it. Even though still on a floating vessel, capable of weathering the storm, we lose confidence in our ability to stay the helm.
In the book I'm reading right now, a storm comes up on New Year's Eve. The three men sailing the vessel take the steps to do what they can, stay flexible and resourceful as each gust of wind brings new challenges - disabled motor, torn sail, etc. It's amazing, but in the midst of all the action, they find humor in their predicament and actual start to see the storm as an adventure. They succomb to what is beyond their control and actually begin joking and having a good time fighting the swells and avoiding to crash into the rocky shore.
Instead of wasting their time asking all the whys, they quickly move into finding a purpose in the struggle. What at first made them fear for their lives became a game of sorts testing their skill and mental reserves.
Despite the many storms that can brew up, and oftentimes blow over just as fast, we have at our fingertips all the resources needed to successfully navigate. The key element in the scenario mentioned was teamwork. Each of the three men knew the other was depending on him; no one allowed themselves a moment to slack aware of their vital interconnectness.
Today's "bridge-board": Who are my most dependable crew members when a storm blows in my life? Am I quick to call them on deck? Or do I try to weather the waves on my own? What type of a first mate am I when my friends find themselves in a squall?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Paths and People
I believe that "there are as many paths to God as there are people" (Joseph Ratzinger, aka Pope Benedict XVI).
I hope this blog will be a crossroads where hundreds and thousands of those paths cross. I will share experiences and resources that draw on both faith and the common human experience. All too often it is our differences, not commonalities, that are highlighted.
Though writing under a pen name, I'm openly a practicing Roman Catholic. My spirituality and religion are integral parts of who I am. However, my strongest convictions haven't come from a catechism lesson or sermon I passively received on Sunday. It has been life experience, my own and of others, study of human nature and psychology, and a delving into what was behind those lessons and sermons that have led me to make my own the ethical and moral principles I try to live by.
That said, this is not meant to be a religious or evangelization blog. It is meant to be spiritual. I have yet to meet anyone who adamently disagrees with our make-up as human beings including both body and spirit, tangible and intangible. I can't help but share books, reflections and resources that I have found to be of particular wealth; many will be religious or spiritual, many will not. My goal is simply to help each person reading to begin a process of personal reflection that leads to positive action - in our relationships, both inwardly and outwardly.
The last posting spoke of growth, movement and stagnation. I do believe it is God's mercy to take us each along a very personal path to Himself, to true peace with ourselves, others and the world around us. He knows our past, our present and our future...and He sees the seeds of goodness in all of it. May we begin to see with the eyes of our own hearts and minds, this goodness in ourselves and our lives.
Another "fence-link": What do I see as one of the darkest moments/periods of my life? Looking at it removed from the immediately associated feelings and emotions, what goodness has this brought to my life since then? How have those closest to me been positively affected by that experience?
I hope this blog will be a crossroads where hundreds and thousands of those paths cross. I will share experiences and resources that draw on both faith and the common human experience. All too often it is our differences, not commonalities, that are highlighted.
Though writing under a pen name, I'm openly a practicing Roman Catholic. My spirituality and religion are integral parts of who I am. However, my strongest convictions haven't come from a catechism lesson or sermon I passively received on Sunday. It has been life experience, my own and of others, study of human nature and psychology, and a delving into what was behind those lessons and sermons that have led me to make my own the ethical and moral principles I try to live by.
That said, this is not meant to be a religious or evangelization blog. It is meant to be spiritual. I have yet to meet anyone who adamently disagrees with our make-up as human beings including both body and spirit, tangible and intangible. I can't help but share books, reflections and resources that I have found to be of particular wealth; many will be religious or spiritual, many will not. My goal is simply to help each person reading to begin a process of personal reflection that leads to positive action - in our relationships, both inwardly and outwardly.
The last posting spoke of growth, movement and stagnation. I do believe it is God's mercy to take us each along a very personal path to Himself, to true peace with ourselves, others and the world around us. He knows our past, our present and our future...and He sees the seeds of goodness in all of it. May we begin to see with the eyes of our own hearts and minds, this goodness in ourselves and our lives.
Another "fence-link": What do I see as one of the darkest moments/periods of my life? Looking at it removed from the immediately associated feelings and emotions, what goodness has this brought to my life since then? How have those closest to me been positively affected by that experience?
Birthday Rings and Birthday Blogs
On my thirtieth birthday, still single and a single mother at that, I decided to celebrate. I bought myself a monogram ring. It's traditional with the last name initial, larger, in the middle, first and middle initials on the sides. The ring represented a celebration of my life until that point. The ring also signified a certain turning point looking to the future.
Instead of waiting to "build my fence" around myself and a spouse, I made a conscious decision to find fulfillment in the here and now. Not that I, or any of us, haven't made that decision a thousand times. I think, because it's a "here and now" statement, we need to renew in each day's "here and now".
A lot has happened between that birthday and this, celebrated just about two weeks ago. Growing joys and growing pains...and thankfully, not too much growth in the horizontal direction. To me, growth signifies movement. So, whether it's welcomed or begrudgingly accepted it's all better than stagnantion.
I passed a stagnant pond this evening on a bike ride. Covered with that signature green, immobile film it looked and felt stale. Nobody wants to be covered with green gook; nobody likes stale...anything. Stagnation in life should be one allergy we hope and pray to have a noxious reaction to.
This blog is a fruit of that growth and my thirty-third birthday present to myself. Some of my friends joke that I have been blogging over the past year, sending articles, quotes and reflections on a somewhat regular basis. Here is a more formal attempt at sharing thoughts and prompting any who come across this to pull out of any static, inert or motionless state of mind and action. It is for you to determine if it is a gift worth re-gifting...by all means, please re-gift it!
Each post will end with a "bridge-board" - focused on the relational aspect of our lives - or a "fence-link" - focused on our inner lives, or relationship with ourselves.
A "fence-link" for today: What area of my life, that is within my power to influence or change, is most stagnant? What is the first step I need to get the waters moving again?
Instead of waiting to "build my fence" around myself and a spouse, I made a conscious decision to find fulfillment in the here and now. Not that I, or any of us, haven't made that decision a thousand times. I think, because it's a "here and now" statement, we need to renew in each day's "here and now".
A lot has happened between that birthday and this, celebrated just about two weeks ago. Growing joys and growing pains...and thankfully, not too much growth in the horizontal direction. To me, growth signifies movement. So, whether it's welcomed or begrudgingly accepted it's all better than stagnantion.
I passed a stagnant pond this evening on a bike ride. Covered with that signature green, immobile film it looked and felt stale. Nobody wants to be covered with green gook; nobody likes stale...anything. Stagnation in life should be one allergy we hope and pray to have a noxious reaction to.
This blog is a fruit of that growth and my thirty-third birthday present to myself. Some of my friends joke that I have been blogging over the past year, sending articles, quotes and reflections on a somewhat regular basis. Here is a more formal attempt at sharing thoughts and prompting any who come across this to pull out of any static, inert or motionless state of mind and action. It is for you to determine if it is a gift worth re-gifting...by all means, please re-gift it!
Each post will end with a "bridge-board" - focused on the relational aspect of our lives - or a "fence-link" - focused on our inner lives, or relationship with ourselves.
A "fence-link" for today: What area of my life, that is within my power to influence or change, is most stagnant? What is the first step I need to get the waters moving again?
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Fence, singular; Bridges, plural
A journey to FENCE in one's inner peace and freedom and build BRIDGES through healthy and fulfilling relationships with others and the world.
Defining the title words of this blog as my first entry is a sort of statement of purpose. I've been reflecting on that purpose for quite some time...and hope this be the start of another "quite some time" during which others are able to benefit from the thoughts, reflections and challenges presented here.
Fence:
(n) a barrier enclosing or bordering a field, yard, etc., usually made of posts and wire or wood, used to prevent entrance, to confine, or to mark a boundary.
(v) to enclose by some barrier, establishing exclusive right to possession.
(v) to defend; protect; guard.
Bridge:
(n) a structure spanning and providing passage over a river, chasm, road, or the like.
(n) a connecting, transitional, or intermediate route or phase between two adjacent elements, activities, conditions, or the like.
(v) to make a bridge or passage over; span
(definitions from http://dictionary.reference.com)
So, what do fences and bridges have to do with one another? And why did I choose these two concepts as the title for this blog?
Given that the two main areas of reflection here are personal and relational, I wanted images that provoked reflection in both of those directions. The idea of bridges came easily - connections, safe passage over obstacles, providing a "higher" perspective of those obstacles, both a concept and an action.
We need bridges in many areas of our life (internal and external), different ones at different times, in different directions, connecting us with others and the world around us. Some bridges can be natural - the log or stepping stones over a creek - and others require a team of engineers, architects and contractors. Bridges adapt to their surroundings, require solid foundations and no two bridges are exactly alike. Human beings are social, communal by nature; the connections in our lives multiply geometrically as we interact within and expand our circles of family, friends, associates, etc.
Fence, in the singular form, came a little later.
Fence, in the singular form, came a little later.
A fence marks a boundary and establishes possession. Parallel to the abundance of bridges in our lives, we are entitled to only one fence. The only thing we have the right to possess is our own inner self, our personal identity and its expression in the choices we make.
We have a natural tendency to want to turn bridges into fences. Especially in those relationships closest to us – either keeping the other fenced in or locking them out. Bridges have ins and outs on each side, they promote freedom of movement and passage, equally for both individuals.
As parents, we want a fence protecting and guarding our children from pain, sickness, failure and heartache. As spouses, we want fences establishing exclusive rights to the attention of our spouse (at least most women do; I can't speak for the men – feel free to share). As individuals, we want barriers established between the outside world and our insecurities or fears. As adults, we want to stake out our talents and abilities as untouchable, by the needs of others or by the aging process.
The mistake we make by attempting to guard or enclose what is meant to provide passage is to limit our own growth, and the growth of the ones we love. We don't love our children by keeping them in a bubble. We don't love our spouses by want demanding them all for ourselves. We don't love ourselves by being consumed with our weaknesses. We don't love others by protecting ourselves from vulnerability.
The images themselves have sown seeds of a multitude of ideas and reflections that will sprout in future posts. Please comment and share your own seeds of insight into the meaning of fences and bridges in our lives…
I leave you with a first "bridge-board": What bridges, or relationships, in my life have I confined? What have I gained from trying to possess the other person? What bridges have I allowed someone else to turn into an enclosure? What have I lost by allowing myself to be possessed by another?
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